Frustration

Yesterday, I tried to call my local branch of HSBC. No, I am not a direct personal banking customer of theirs (although I do bank with first direct), but I had gone in there last week to ’specially present’ a cheque which a slimebucket who owed me money had written a while ago and postdated.

I was parked on the M25, so I thought that I would make use of my time and see what was hapening with my cheque. Well, I now have some idea of what the grand inquisition was like.

Who are you? (name, date of birth, address, inside leg measurement)
Who do you want to talk to (full name, favourite colour, last holiday location)
We must have a name of the person at the branch or we can’t put you through
Why didn’t you deal with this matter at your own bank (’Cos they don’t have branches)
Was the cheque from someone with an HSBC account (if not, why not?)
Why do you want to talk to them? (why are you so important that you wish to disturb our staff?)

When I explained the reason, I was told (as I so often am these days) that I couldn’t talk to the branch about this as it would be ‘against the data protection act’. Arrrggghhhh!!!

At this point, I am sad to admit, I started shouting. I should point out in my defence that I had already called 3 times and lost my network signal at various points in the conversation, normally while holding and listening to awful music. I never spoke to the same person, and although I asked, none of them ever called me back when I got cut off.

Eventually, on the fourth attempt, after many discussions between the person on the phone with me and their manager, they agreed to try my local HSBC branch manager. It was then that they found that the number they had was for the old branch location, before it moved up the road.

I got put on hold again, for ages (well, at least 6 minutes). The woman then came back to tell me she had spoken to the branch and it was the counter staff I needed to talk to (no s%$t sherlock!) and that having spoken to them, no progress had been made with my cheque. No, before you ask, I was not allowed to speak to the people in my local branch.

It amazes me that HSBC:
1) do not actually have numbers for their local branches
2) If they do, do not give them to their customers
3) Behave in a manner which is bound to lose them customers (as do most banks I think)
4) Have absolutely nu understanding of what the data protection act is for or about but are quite happy to use it to block a genuine enquiry of any sort (I can just imagine them saying….’no sir, we can’t tell you your balance with us because that is a matter for your branch and therefore against the data protection act’ – where will it end?!?!)

Today, I am going to go into the branch, I think that may prove a lot faster. If any of you out there want to contact your local branch of HSBC – don’t try to call them!